Stress, depression and the holidays: Tips for coping

Stress and depression can ruin your holidays and hurt your health. Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can help ward off stress and depression. 

The holiday season often brings unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it's no wonder. The holidays present a dizzying array of demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name just a few.

But with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress that accompanies the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

Tips to prevent holiday stress and depression

When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.

1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.
4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.
5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
8. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.
9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Take control of the holidays

Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the holidays. Learn to recognize your holiday triggers, such as financial pressures or personal demands, so you can combat them before they lead to a meltdown. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you can find peace and joy during the holidays.

Using Herbs and Fresh Fruit to Make Flavored Water

We’ve all heard the experts encourage us to drink more water. It helps flush out impurities and is necessary for proper cell function. As summer heats up in the Northern Hemisphere, gardeners should frequently replace fluids lost to heat and exercise. Most of us are used to the simple glass of water with a lemon wedge, but there is a whole world of flavored water to explore using plants from your garden.

Fresh fruit and herbs are wonderful accompaniments to water, adding an unexpected zing to an otherwise bland taste. There are dozens of commercial flavorings on the market, but the majority of them use chemicals to sweeten and add artificial flavors. We ingest so many chemicals without meaning to, it seems prudent to avoid them whenever possible and these days, most of us are avoiding any ingredients we can't pronounce. (Or we should be) Bottled water is sometimes costly and all of those plastic bottles headed to landfills aren't environmentally friendly. Fancy spas and hotels offer exotic flavored waters at a hefty price, but with just a few items from your garden, you can sip the same thing as the rich and famous.

Start with fresh fruit and herbs. Mints are a logical choice, (and easy to grow) but savory herbs such and rosemary, basil, thyme and sage are surprisingly refreshing too. Choose healthy shoots and young leaves for the best results. Rinse the herbs in cool water and make sure that insects haven't tagged along for the ride. Wash your fruit, but it isn't necessary to peel it. Chop fruits such as peaches just a bit before placing them into a large container. Two liters is a good size. Mash the fruit with a wooden spoon or other tool, add and bruise herbs as desired. Add ice and filtered water. Flavor will develop as the juice and oils release from the ingredients. For best results, leave your water in the refrigerator overnight. Use within three days, discard the ingredients, wash your container and start again. Flavored waters shouldn't be served or left at room temperature, as bacteria can develop.

The flavor is subtle and for those of you who are expecting something like fruit punch, it isn't for you. Herbs and fruit blend for a delicate beverage that isn't cloying or overwhelming. Sweeteners aren't added either, although if you must, a few drops of sugar syrup wouldn't hurt. Stevia is a wonderful herb that is naturally sweet. Bruise a few leaves and add those to your container for a natural, zero calorie sweetener.

Try some tree-ripened mandarins and chocolate mint. Raspberry-watermelon is a classic combination. Cucumbers are also excellent for flavored water and can be used alone or in conjunction with other items.
Flavored waters are easy, economical and just about everything you need is in season now. Consciously making an effort to drink more water is a good idea. By the time you are thirsty, your body is already experiencing dehydration, and the thirst response is not as sharp for older adults either. Keeping flavored water handy is a good idea all around.

Many of of the supermarkets (and home gardens) have an overabundance of fruit each year and by freezing packets with desired proportions, we can extend the harvest. Herbs freeze best if frozen in ice cubes, so portion your herbs into ice cube trays and pop the resulting cubes into zip locks for wintertime use.

Flavored waters are easy and refreshing, so keep some around all the time!

How to grow Bluebonnets

I have been asked by a couple people, "Those Bluebonnets in your yard are gorgeous! How did you grow them?" So I thought I would post a quick "how-to" on growing them.

How to Grow Bluebonnets

With a little patience, Central Texas gardeners can create a patch of bluebonnets in their own yards. Five species of Lupinus grow in Texas and all have been designated as the state flower. The most common species is Lupinus texensis, the Texas bluebonnet, which starts flowering in mid-March. The peak blooming period is usually in mid-April, although the exact date is impossible to predict due to many environmental factors. Other prominent species include L. subcarnosus, a species that grows in the sandy soils of South and East Texas and L. havardii, a tall species found in West Texas, especially prominent in Big Bend National Park.

Although species of this beautiful wildflower are found each spring across Texas and can be very abundant along Texas roadsides, it may take several years to establish a good stand of bluebonnets in your yard. Be patient! Once they are established, your bluebonnets will reseed and reappear each spring.

When do I plant the seeds?

Plant the seeds in October & November (early October is best). Lupinus texensis (Texas bluebonnet) are annual plants; that is, they go from seed to flower to seed in one year. They germinate in the fall and grow throughout the winter, and usually bloom around the end of March to the mid-May. Around mid-May, they form a seedpod, which is green at first but turns yellow and then brown. Sometime between the yellow and brown form of the seedpod, the seeds mature. The seedpods pop open, releasing the small, hard seeds.

Planting Tips

Adapted to the rocky, alkaline soils of the Hill Country – and to its frequent droughts – Texas bluebonnets produce large, hard-coated seeds that may cause them to have a low germination rate the first year or two. This is nature’s “insurance” so that, in case of drought, residual seeds are left in the soil for the following year. As the hard seed coats wear down from abrasion and decay, with some water the seedlings begin to sprout.

While a hard seed coat is an excellent mechanism for species survival during unfavorable years, it can frustrate the gardener who wants a spring display of colorful blooms the first year after planting. Adding to a gardener’s frustration, not all seedlings that germinate successfully establish and grow to maturity. But don’t despair. Over the years, researchers and gardeners have given many tips about propagating and cultivating bluebonnets, including the following:

Seed Scarification

As noted, bluebonnet seeds have hard seed coats that often delay germination for a year of more. To increase the germination rate the first year, growers often scarify seeds. Scarification means scratching or nicking the seed coats to simulate natural weathering processes. Once scarified, most seeds will germinate quickly and should be watered for several weeks, especially if the weather is dry.

You can use the following methods to scarify seeds:

• physically nick the seeds with a knife (for small quantities)
• rub the seeds with sandpaper
• freeze the seeds overnight, then quickly pour boiling water over the seeds and soak for several hours at room temperature

It is not recommended to scarify bluebonnet seeds that will not be receiving water during dry periods in the winter and early spring. Scarifying stimulates all of the seeds to germinate and does not leave residual seeds for subsequent years in the event of a drought. In addition, scarification can damage some seeds. It increases the number of seeds vulnerable to extreme weather conditions and disease causing organisms. Scarification does increase the number of seeds that germinate, but will not guarantee a healthy, self-seeding stand of bluebonnets; many other factors influence the growth and flowering of bluebonnets once the seeds have germinated. The goal may not be to have a high rate of initial germination, but rather a productive stand of flowering Bluebonnets that reseed on their own without the need for replanting each year.

 

About Rhizobium

Like most legumes, the roots of bluebonnets work in association with a bacterium called Rhizobium which improves plant growth and flowering. Rhizobium allows nitrogen fixation, (the conversion of atmospheric nitrogen to a form usable by plants) to take place. Most inoculants, including Rhizobium, are species-specific, which means that you cannot use any one inoculant for every legume. Although Rhizobium is not commonly available through retail sources, some nurseries offer pre-inoculated seeds. However, if the seeds were not stored properly after inoculation, the bacteria may not be alive. Be sure to ask about storage procedures before purchasing inoculated seeds. Inoculants that are stored alone or coated on seeds should be places in an airtight container and refrigerated. Inoculants have a maximum storage life of about six months.

Many soils already have naturally occurring Rhizobium, which makes finding a source of Rhizobium and applying it unnecessary. One way to determine whether Rhizobium inoculation has occurred is to look at the roots of an established plant. If there are nodules (small, rounded lumps containing nitrogen-fixing bacteria) on the roots, the bluebonnets have been inoculated by the bacteria. If you are not sure if Rhizobium is present and you can find a source, go ahead and add it. Rhizobium can be applied to the seeds before they are planted, or to the soil after germination has taken place. Applying the bacteria before the seeds are planted probably is the most efficient and easiest method. Lightly dampen the seeds so the Rhizobium powder will stick easily.

For the most successful results, plant seeds in the fall – no later than mid-November. A fall planting will give seeds the advantage of early fall rains that induce germination and encourage vigorous root growth. Bluebonnets winter over as seedlings and are not susceptible to freezing. The plants have a head start on growth when warm, wet weather arrives in February and March.

How Much to Plant

The Texas Department of Highways and Public Transportation recommends a seeding rate of 10 to 12 pounds per acre. At that rate, an ounce (which contains between 850 and 1,000 seeds) will cover about 200 square feet. This is approximately five seeds per square foot. Using that rate, maximum display probably would be reached the second or third year after planting. If cost is not a consideration, your area is small or you want a good display quickly, seed companies recommend using 8 to 10 seeds per square foot. At that rate an ounce will cover approximately 135 square feet, and half a pound covers 1,000 square feet.

An acre will require 20-30 pounds of seeds. (Keep in mind those seeding rates have been determined on a singlespecies basis and should be modified if you are planting other species with bluebonnets.)
Choose a sunny, well-drained location with slightly alkaline soil for Lupinus texensis. South and west-facing slopes will encourage earlier spring growth and flowering. L. subcarnosus, which prefers the sandy soils found in areas of East Texas, is also available commercially in limited amounts and also requires a sunny, well-drained site.

How to Plant Bluebonnet Seeds

If your site is not weedy and you plan only to interseed bluebonnets into existing vegetation, the process is relatively easy. Mow the vegetation to 6-8 inches and rake up the thatch. Try to open up some bare areas to allow the seeds to make contact with the soil. Prepare weedy ground by using the techniques outlined in Soil Preparation in Gardening and Landscaping with Native Plants. For bare ground, plant seeds on a lightly tilled or slightly roughened soil surface for optimum seed-soil contact.
One rule applies to all wildflower planting, good seed-soil contact is essential. Contact with the soil helps retain moisture around the seeds, which is necessary for germination, and provides a substrate for seedling growth. Hand broadcasting is the simplest seeding method and works well. You may dilute the seeds by mixing them with sand to easily achieve even coverage. Press seeds firmly into the ground with your hands or walk over the area.

Maintaining Your Bluebonnet Patch

Water your bluebonnets, if possible, using light, well-spaced waterings. Although bluebonnets require some moisture to germinate and grow, they do not like saturated soil. If fall or winter rainfall is low, an occasional watering will help ensure success.

As a general rule, you do not need to fertilize. L. texensis because it is adapted to alkaline soils that can be low in nutrients, perhaps because of the presence of Rhizobium. Fertilizing is not recommended and may encourage leggy and weak plants with more leaves than flowers. However, if your seedlings do not appear to be growing vigorously, they may need Rhizobium, or you may want to fertilize lightly in early spring.

Do not mow until the plants have formed mature seedpods. Bluebonnet seeds usually mature six to eight weeks after flowering. When mature, the pods turn yellow or brown and start to dry. By mowing after the seeds have matured, you will allow the plants to reseed for next year.

Random Thoughts...

... on campaign yard signs, men with women as they shop, and other such life obsessions:


•If laughter is the best medicine, does that mean I can now get it through Medco By Mail?

• Has anyone yet explained just what "Mitt" means?

• If, after such a mild winter, the Groundhog sees his shadow, will that mean six more weeks of spring?

• Is it about time Ben Gay changes his name?

• What does it say when a yard has campaign signs for BOTH of the candidates ... other than perhaps the homeowner doesn't really care who wins?

• Whatever happened to George Foreman?

•  Credit where credit is due: If it weren't for us men in the world, who would open all the pickle jars and mayonnaise lids?

• Now that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have been "madly in love," married and then also divorced, all in only 72 days, does this mean single folk now have two options - (1) go on dates, get to know each other, learn each other foibles, mull the future or (2) if you don't want to be together that long, just get married?

• Whatever happened to Richard Carpenter, of the Carpenters?

• Don't you just love the sight of the big, tough, burly guys shopping with their wives in a store, just moments after she said, "Here, hold me purse ..."?

• Ever noticed a "Two and a Half Men" rerun is always playing in the hospital lounge or waiting room at the oil-and-lube place?

• Something I've always wondered: if you have amnesia, how do you know?

•  Don't you hate those drivers who drive under the speed limit because they're doing something, like yakking on the phone ... except during those times when you're on the phone and suddenly notice you're driving under the speed limit, too?

• "Is there really such a thing as a `non-stop' flight? Shouldn't they be called "one-stop" flights, unless the passengers all bail out over the destination?"

• "Does AARP get a senior discount on their advertising?"

• Is there anything worse than an office mate who's always away from his desk and has his cell ring-tone set to "Who Let The Dogs Out?"

• Whatever happened to Sharon Stone, too?

• Finally, if the Mayan calendar is right and Armageddon, in fact, occurs this Dec. 22, just how sad is it we will have first had to endure this presidential campaign, too?